The Dreamcrusher
On a sunny day in June, one finds oneself listening to “Pomp and Circumstance” and watching the procession of high school graduates make there way to their seats. One of the highlights is the valedictory address given by an especially bright young person whom I will call Pat. Pat speaks happily and with assured hope. Pat envisions a future in which Pat and peers, wunderkinds all, will change the world. Pat is now off to college with a plan to become an astronaut with the ultimate goal of discovering a new species on a distant world. At this point one can envision Pat’s aspirations and dreams as a large and faceted rock:
Fast forward a bit. Pat is now twenty-one and finishing the junior year of college. The astronaut plan has changed due to a failure to ever get a grasp on the mathematical gibberish called calculus. The major is now something called “Basic Studies”. The significant other, also an aspiring astronaut, left Pat for another. You get the picture; Pat’s dreams have been toned down. Pat has entered what I call the Dreamcrusher. The Dreamcrusher looks like this:
Pat graduates and accepts an entry level managerial position in a big corporation. Pat still has hopes. Perhaps the supervisors will recognize Pat’s unique talents and Pat will be propelled upward. Who knows, maybe becoming CEO is a possibility. If that doesn’t work out there is always law school. There is plenty of time. Pat is only twenty-eight. Pat is confident that things will begin to gel after age thirty.
Seven years pass and Pat is now thirty-five. Pat’s state of mind can be depicted with one picture,
and three letters,
“WTF”.
Pat has “moved up the ladder” and is happy with the job. The money is good but becoming CEO is not going to happen. Law school might be nice but Pat is now married and, given the tick-tock of the biological clock, it is time to have children if they are to be had. The student loans are also a financial drag. Pat is happy but his dreams are smaller. Thanks to the Dreamcrusher the large faceted “dream rock” that depicted his high school dreams now looks like this:
Before you know it, Pat is in his forties. Two kids, same job, and as many years in the rear view mirror as there are ahead. Sadly, some older family members have died as has one contemporary. Mortality, denied until now, is becoming a reality. Pat no longer expects or wants a glamorous career or to achieve the stupendous much less to change the world. Just a good job will do, thank you. Time passes and, before you know it, Pat is retiring. But what of those dreams on graduation day you ask? They’re talcum powder.
Now many will find the story of the Dreamcrusher to be cynical. They are wrong. Rather, the Dreamcrusher is about narcissism and pride. Pat’s lofty aspirations at graduation were ego-driven and hubristic. Changing the world is difficult. Few succeed and even fewer live long enough to see the effects. Friar Gregor Mendel, the father of genetics, published his work in 1866. Yet, the import of his work was not recognized until long after his death. But let us not be mournful for Pat. Pat may not have realized his graduation dream but, over the years, he did develop friendships and loving relationships, had a happy marriage, raised and enjoyed children, became a good golfer, mentored younger colleagues, loved a dog, and experienced all of the many things that make for a happy and meaningful life-the important things that the Dreamcrusher can never touch.
So on to the Dreamcrusher files, a collection of cartoons collected over the years by my son, Andrew and I, that gave us some laughs about the Dreamcrusher. I hope you will find them enjoyable. Check back occasionally. The file is a work in progress and we keep adding.
One Suburban Dad
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